Yesterday we discussed why men have affairs so today we will discuss why women have affairs!

The difference between men having affairs and women having affairs is that the man can switch off easily, so its very easy for him to have an affair just for the pure fun of it. They do it for the excitement most of the time but in most cases would not leave their wife for their mistress.

Women on the other hand look for somebody else because they want to feel sexy again and want to fill an emotional void.

Here are 5 reasons why a woman would look elsewhere:

Reason One: Arguments That Don’t Lead to Change!

When arguments become on-going between you and rarely a day passes without some degree of emotional upset in your relationship, a woman is going to start thinking of why she puts up with it. Women of past generations had to put up with it and try to work through it, even if the husband responded badly and his behaviour got worse as a result. These days, if a man isn’t being the perfect man like the ones depicted in TV sitcoms and movies, it has unfortunately become socially acceptable for a woman to leave, or worse, have an affair behind his back.

Men who are successful in their relationships with women do not throw their hands up in the air in the face of an argument or blame the woman for all the arguing. When faced with a problem in life, a real man faces it head on and figures out how to fix it. Things are not always going to run smoothly in a relationship every hour and every day, but couples in successful relationships get through rough patches by facing problems and looking for ways to fix them, not running away and hiding from them. As a man, it’s your job to take the lead on fixing the problem. If you don’t know how to fix it, learn.

Reason Two: She Doesn’t Feel Sexy Around You Anymore!

There are some very sneaky men out there who prey on married women and women in long term relationships. They live by the old saying, “Show me a beautiful woman in a long-term relationship and I’ll show you a man who is bored of having sex with her.” To protect your relationship against these opportunistic men, you need to ensure that your woman feels increasingly sexy around you. Most men are able to make their woman feel sexy during the initial part of the relationship, where there is plenty of romance and natural lust. However, as they progress through the stages of a relationship, they are clueless as to how to retain that or build on it.

In The Modern Relationship, I explain the secrets to not only maintaining the degree to which your woman feels sexy around you, but how to increase it. When your woman feels sexy around you, she is going to be more open to sex and to doing “sexual favours” for you, if you know what I mean. Making her feel sexy and sexually confident around you, also means that she will continually make an effort to look good for you. You’ll find that she wears sexier clothes, makes more of an effort to stay in shape and is generally much more fun to have sex with.

Reason Three: Bad sex or Lack of sex!

Once again, most guys are able to please their woman fairly well during the initial stages of a relationship. However, once familiarity has set in and they fail to increase the degree to which a woman feels sexy around them, the sex can become boring and predictable. The secret to avoiding this is to make your woman see you as her “sex god,” so to speak. To her, no other man is necessary because to be sexed by you touches her and satisfies her on the deepest levels of her being.

Now, don’t get me wrong here. I’m not talking about spending loads of hours on tantric sex, or any other “Sensitive New Age Guy” rubbish like that. I’m talking about deeply penetrating your woman’s body and mind as you have sex with her, without needing to spend time on foreplay or doing unnecessary things like dressing up and role playing. You don’t need any of that when you know how to deeply penetrate her body and mind during sex. It doesn’t matter if you do it for 5 minutes or 30 minutes; when you sex a woman right, she will be the best girl you’ve ever had in your life. You tell her to make you a coffee and she will jump at the opportunity to please you. Tell her to give you oral sex while you watch TV and she will feel LUCKY to be doing it.

However, if the sex is boring or if there is a lack of pleasurable sex, modern women (especially those who watch TV sitcoms that glamorize affairs and divorce, rather than condemning it) will often start thinking that maybe an “exciting affair” will liven up their life again. Unfortunately, when a woman consults with her friends, they will often encourage it and even help make it happen. The best strategy to protect your relationship in the modern world, is to become the type of man that women desperately want to be with. You can no longer just be an “okay option” or maintain a boring, sexless relationship. If the woman isn’t feeling fulfilled, she is more likely to have affair or just up and leave you.

So, how do you create the right relationship dynamic and how do you penetrate a woman’s body AND mind during sex? It’s about being a masculine man, being present and making her feel like a feminine woman. Watch Better Than a Bad Boy to learn how. When you have sex with women in the way I suggest, you will be amazed at how much good treatment you’ve been missing out on from women. The truth is, a woman WANTS to be in a position in the relationship where she feels lucky to be having sex with you. If you don’t give her that gift and make her feel lucky like that, you’re leaving her wide open to being preyed on by men who seek out unhappy women for easy sex.

Reason Four: Lack of Excitement!

One of the traits that women find most attractive in men is unpredictability. I’m not referring to wild unpredictability where you do crazy or dangerous things, I’m talking about interesting unpredictability where you are not boring! I teach guys how to be unpredictable when talking to women for the first time, on the phone and on dates in The Flow and I explain how to do it in a relationship in The Modern Relationship.

All relationships go through stages and there can be no doubt that the early stages of infatuation with one another make everything about the relationship feel extremely exciting. It can feel fun and exciting to be even sitting together on the couch, cuddled up and watching TV…but, after a while it will stop feeling fun if you don’t maintain and grow the love and attraction you feel for each other. As the relationship grows, the “love rush” of the early days is replaced with a different kind of emotional connection and this is when some women can slip into thinking that something is missing in the relationship. An affair is then used as a way of finding out if the something that’s missing can be found in someone else.

Reason Five: You’re Not Being a Man For Her!

Let’s face it; if a woman is extremely happy in her relationship with her man, she’s not going to be interested in having an affair. Generally speaking, a woman will seek to have an affair when she isn’t happy and thinks that another man will provide the happiness she is lacking. As you may know, we are each responsible for our own feelings of happiness and shouldn’t solely rely on another person (or people) to make us happy. Much of it has to come from within, from our purpose in life, the love we share with others and our perception of the world around us. However, you can’t rely on a woman to know that and live by it. Your woman may think that happiness is found in a man, in buying shoes and in eating cake, who knows!

As a man, you need to take personal responsibility for the relationship you have with your woman. You can literally guide her into happiness, love and total surrender to you by being a man for her. The more of a man you are and the more you guide her into being a true, feminine woman, the happier both of you will be. These days, a lot of men unknowingly guide their women into depression, unhappiness and lack of desire because they simply don’t understand how to “be the man” in a relationship.

Men and Women Have Changed, but Are Still the Same

Although modern women have become more confident, independent and in a way, more masculine in their behaviour and thinking due to entering the workforce and taking on bigger roles, changing attitudes in society and the after effects of the feminist movement – women still want you to be a man. Women are not the new men, they just have more voice, choice and freedom. Deep down, under the superficial layer of masculinity they have to put on to survive in the modern world, they are still just girls…and want to be treated that way behind closed doors.

These days, most men are unsure how to behave around the confident, new aged women and unfortunately, they end up looking to TV for the answers. However, when a modern man watches TV, he’ll often see TV commercials where husbands are depicted as clumsy, sex-starved idiots who are trying to do whatever they can to please their wife, who always seems to be on the verge of hitting him across the head with something. Why do they show this stuff on advertisements? Well, they can’t have men treating women that way, can they?

Companies advertising their products cannot depict women as wanting to be bent over the couch by their husband, as a reward for her doing the housework or cooking a good meal. Yet, the truth is, women do want to be in a position where they are rewarded for their good behaviour. The better they behave and the more they please you, the more of your attention, love and s*x they will get. That’s what women want. Yet, if you believe what you see on TV commercials, you’ll end up thinking that you will get more s*x, love and respect from your woman if you do the housework and stay out of her way…or else she’ll get mad!

If you want to get a real education on how to be a man, watch Better Than a Bad Boy. Trying to learn how to be a man by watching TV sitcoms, Hollywood movies and the odd TV commercial is only going to cause you more confusion, frustration and problems now and in the long run. If you don’t want to invest years of your life and loads of your time and money into a relationship, only to have a woman turn around one day and say, “I need to tell you something. I’ve been having an affair. I am in love with another man” then get educated and enjoy a relationship the way it should be enjoyed. That being, where the love, respect and attraction you feel for each other GROWS rather than fades away into arguments, infidelity and divorce.

This also goes for men too because I believe there are also a lot of women out there that prey on married men. So my advice is to communicate, find out the problem and try to fix it, don’t run away from it! If it cant be fixed then you know you have both come to the end of the road!

Hope this helps of you troubled couples out there x

Much Love LilyBee xxx

What a glorious day it has been today! I hope that most of you have had the chance to enjoy the sunshine!

Todays topic is affairs and what makes men and women look elsewhere. I know a lot of people who have either had the dirty done on them or have actually done the deed themselves and when I asked them why, the main reason was for Attention!!

So lets discuss first why men have affairs??

Do they fill the cracks in their relationships? Is it really for attention?

I believe that most men have affairs because they have become lonely in their relationship especially when they have children. Their wife has suddenly become a mother and all of the attention is on the children and rightly so, but then being a mother is the hardest job on earth so after putting the children to bed they are drained and are too tired for anything else other than sleep.

They may not be connecting anymore on a physical level.

They may even feel that they aren’t respected and their wives only want them for financial security.

They are bored and choose to have an affair because of the challenges and risk involved bringing excitement back into their lives.

So what is the solution?

Communication! Communication is definitely the key and if men opened up and told women how they are actually feeling then I am more than positive that if the woman truly loves him, she will do everything in her power to keep him happy. Once a woman knows how unhappy her man is she then knows there is a danger of him straying, so of course if she think hes worth it, she will bloody well fight for him!!

Most people believe that around 20% of couples in marriages are having affairs. However studies have shown that the percentage is closer to 80% of people in marriages are having affairs. 

So guys take our advice and open up before you make the biggest mistake of your life and remember its better to communicate then to fornicate x

Love LilyBee xxx

I read in the newspaper today that a man has run up a bill of £91,000 on sex chatline.

How on earth is it possible to run up that amount of money on such a thing which we all know 9 times out of 10 is fake anyway. He apparently spent 22 hours a day on the phone after his split with his girlfriend. Is that really any excuse?????

The chatline that he used was via cam so he was able to get his kicks by being talked dirty to in lingerie clad beauties. Now in my opinion I actually think that these chat lines are a good thing because it keeps most of the perverts satisfied and off our streets where they can be such a danger but to spend that amount of time and money on them is preposterous.

I spoke to Jake about this and asked if he ahs ever used a chatline and he told me that he knows people that have but he hasn’t personally because its not his sort of thing. He would rather have skin on skin contact….well that much I can vouch for hehe!!!!

So what are your thoughts on chatlines and do you know anybody that has ended up in debt through using them???

I would love to hear your stories on here or our facebook page x

Have a great evening but gents maybe it’s a good idea to steer clear of the phone haha!

Love LilyBee xxx
 

Hello there my lovely readers x

All I can say about our product testing night is a BIG FAT MASSIVE WOW!!!

Jake and I both tried out the LELO Billy Blue last night, yes you heard right both of us. At first glance the LELO Billy Blue you can tell that this is a high end toy. It is 6 and a half inches long and has a small curve along its insertable portion which is about 4 inches long. It is made of silicone so has a beautiful velvety touch. The white handle holds the vibration controls so it is very easy to hold and control. It is rechargeable so you don’t have to worry about batteries.

It comes in a beautiful black box that has LELO printed along the top and inside there is a storage slot for the vibrator and for the charger.

I tested out the vibrations beforehand on my hand and I got very excited at the prospect of these vibrations. There are 7 different vibration settings and each one gets more powerful. It starts off with small pulses and then get more intense. The last setting is amazing.

It is a quiet vibe so is great if you have kids in the house. It is easy to charge and it took about 2 hours to fully charge.

Now for the good part…….

This toy is so easy to use and because the silicone is so soft, along with lube and softly pushing Jake and I found this toy very easy to insert and there were a lot of ooohs and ahhhhs coming from him in the process. The controls were easy to use while inserted and he gradually increased the vibrations for a fantastic anal experience. Jake gently inserted it in my backside and although I was dreading it, it was such a pleasurable experience and now I can understand what the hype is all about. It certainly hit the right spot and Jake and I both ended the experience with a smile on our faces.

I would say it is a couples toy as well as a p spot massager. Don’t forget to clean it in between though with toy cleaner.

When using the Billy I found it easier if I tilted it towards the ceiling for the best effects and it is also best to use water based lube with this toy because silicone based lube will damage the toy. It is easy to clean with warm water and antibacterial soap.

Overall Jake and I really love this toy and thoroughly enjoyed our first anal adventure together.

It is a great toy for first time users and I would highly recommend this toy to anybody who likes anal. I promise you this is one toy that definitely wont get left on the shelf xx

Have a great night and don’t forget to have fun x

Much Love LilyBee xxx

If you are interested in trying out this product yourself, I have added the link below for your convenience xx happy shopping xx 

www.tuppyvibe.co.uk/item-p-tvz039/-boy-boys-toys/lelo-billy-blue/

The product Jake and I will be testing tonight is the LELO Billy. It is a prostrate massager and although Jake was a little hesitant at first, I now think he is really looking forward to this new experience!

So dont forget to check in tomorrow for my review x

Have a great evening x

LilyBee xxx

I read something on a site today about infantilism. I really hadnt realised how popular this is with male adults although Im sorry I dont understand why a fully grown man would like to be dressed in a nappy and suck on a dummy!

From what I have read today it all stems back to their insecurities and how safe they felt as a toddler. It is all to do with being nurtured.

If Jake ever asked to indulge in that sort of role play and to dress up as a baby I really dont think that I could do it, no matter how much I love him. In fact I would strongly suggest that he seek help from a councillor.

I would be interested to hear if any of you have ever had any experiences with this or you know of anybody that is into infantilism. What steps have you taken? Do you know where it actually stems from x

Please feel free to write in the guestbook x

Much Love LilyBee xxx

Hello there my lovely readers how are you all today?

I was thinking today about how men always fall asleep straight after making love so after a little research I can now understand the reason why!!

Yes, men are lazy. They know it, and they won't try to deny it. If there's a shortcut to be taken, they will take it. And there's no position they would rather be in than flat on their backs with their feet up. But when it comes to nodding off after sex, it's really not their fault; it's down to nature.

It might sound like a cop-out to us women, but there genuinely is a biological reason for their post-sex doziness. Research has shown that when men ejaculate, they release a cocktail of chemicals, one of which is a hormone called prolactin. Prolactin levels are much higher during sleep, and when animals have been injected with the hormone in tests, they immediately become tired. So, when men orgasm, they release prolactin, and this makes them sleepy. It's as simple as that.

All of which would be fine, were it not for the cruel fact that us women are often hit with a tsunami of energy after we orgasm, as well as a craving for physical and emotional affection and attention. Now there's irony for you haha!!!!

So now you know, it really isn’t their fault although there are still men out there that have much better staying power than others. FACT!!!!!

Hope that you find this fact interesting xx

Much Love LilyBee xxx

Are you having problems with your sex life and its got a little dull? Well the key to this is communication!

Jake and I always talk to each other about sex and yes that is partly down to my job but I do think that its important to tell each other what you like.

Even couples who have been married for years often have trouble talking about sex. If you are feeling a little less than satisfied or just want to try something new, it's important to open up with your partner and talk about your desires.

Here are some helpful tips on how to open up those lines of communication!

1. TIMING IS EVERYTHING

Pick a good situation and ditch the distractions. Pay attention to your body language. We send signals both ways that may differ from what we say to our partner.

2. DON'T MIND READ

You can't be a mind reader, no matter how long you've known or been with your partner. Don't assume you know what feels good to them, or what gives them pleasure; always ask. For example, "Which activities do you find the most pleasurable?"

3. REMINISCE

A good way to start a sex conversation is to remember back to the first several times you and your partner had sex. What did you enjoy? What make it exciting? Bring up the good times with your partner and talk about how exciting things were. This will lead to conversation about what's going on in your sex life currently.

4. WATCH A MOVIE

Another good way to start a sex conversation is to use a movie or TV show that you've watched where a couple discussed sexuality. Ask your partner what they thought of the discussion? What was challenging about the discussion? Can the two of you discuss (or do the two of you view) sexuality differently?

5. DON'T BLAME

Let your partner know how you feel by using "I" statements not "you" statements. Say,"I feel insecure when we don't have sex frequently" or "I miss having sex with you" rather than "You never want to have sex." Ask your partner what you can do to make things better or to improve your sex life.

6. GIVE HIM TIME

Remember to give your partner time to respond and think. Many of us don't have the vocabulary to talk about sexuality in general, so your partner may need time to process and think about what you say. Men will have a different vocabulary than women.

I hope that you find these tips helpful and if you are having a dry period when it comes to your sex life, don’t forget talk to each. Once those lines of communication are open you will be surprised at how easily the conversation flows x Trust me it works ;) xx

LilyBee xxx

In a survey in GLAMOUR magazine 75% of readers fantasised about their man dressing up as a fireman.

I would have to say I am with the 75% there because I have always wanted to go with a fireman. I came close once as I dated a firefighter for a few weeks but unbelievably we never had sex. He was a Catholic firefighter…..so he was a firm believer in no sex before marriage so that is just my bloody luck!!!! There was something missing between us from then on and YES IT WAS SEX!!!!      

I love the idea of being rescued by a firefighter and I have even had dreams where I have actually walked into a fire station wearing nothing but a trench coat. I strip off in front of my mysterious saviour and he takes me up against the fire engine. Now as you can imagine ladies, this is a dream I don’t mind having over and over again hehe!!! I never remember his face though which is strange….but that doesn’t put a dampener on the dream lol!!!

I would love Jake to dress up as a fireman. I have dressed up as a nurse for him so maybe its time that Jakey boy returned the favour x

Hmmmm yes I think its definitely time x

So ladies what or who would you like your man to dress up as?

Answers in the guestbook please x

 Love LilyBee xxx

Jake and I have just returned from a wonderful weekend away and all we did was make love over and over. I love it when we have this type of quality time together and lock the world away and concentrate on us and only us.

How has your weekend been guys?

I thought that the most fitting topic for today would be food play!!!

Why not get your bodies heated up and indulge in a little food play with your easter eggs hehe. It could be a messy business but how erotic would that be then?

Jake and I love food play and he often covers me in chocolate spread, whipped cream and fruit. It is such a sensual way to explore each others bodies and you can give gentle nips along the way intensifying the sensations.

So what types of food do you use during food play?

I would love to hear your stories x comments in the guest book please x

Much Love LilyBee xxx